The Death, Burial and Ressurection of Love

Love is dead, it was said among men, but then, in a moment, it opened its eyes to see again...

Is Love Dead?

I once posed this question to a friend of mine and her answer was perplexing. Essentially, she said it came down to the individual and whether love was still important to them. When I look at society and what its become, it saddens me. Love used to be the ultimate treasure, the thing little girls pined for and the bounty of every knight's honor. Samson cut his hair for love, Van Gogh cut off his ear, Romeo defied his family, Penelope refused 108 suitors waiting 20 years for her love Odysseus to return from war. Love now seems to simply be the consequence of time spent and the culmination of a complicated business deal between two people. Certainly love is more than just the nuance of emotion smothered with lust and brain secretions...or is it?

I believe love has to be sought after, received, nurtured and bloomed in order to be complete. Who in this microwave age is willing to take that kind of time? Who is willing to strip down every layer until they are naked? I'm not sure. It could be said that love in its most traditional sense is but a faint echo in a loud world. Chivalry is a distant, all but offensive, notion that is so rare it stands out as a blood red rose in a field of dead wheat. A woman cooking, cleaning, sexing her man to death and taking care of a home is equally offensive in all but the most perfect circumstances. And a man in his role is equally rare. If a man doesn't work, he shouldn't eat. That's word.

I remember when older women used to teach younger women how to take care and keep a man. Those days are long gone. Now days, a relationship is so ambiguous when it comes to the roles, I fear for our future. Man and woman were meant to love, marry, and create. A man is supposed to work, protect, and provide for his family. A woman is supposed to take care of her house, take care of her children, and take care of her man. Did I just oversimplify this? Yes. In today's society it is almost always necessary for both parents to work which leaves little time for the wife/mother to solely fulfill a traditional role. In this sense, love shown through these actions is most certainly dead in most cases. And if the action of love is dead, wouldn't that mean love is dead also? Sure, love can be shown in a host of ways, but I contend there is nothing more personal and powerful then taking care of the one you love. I am speaking of romantic love, but maybe love doesn't need that constraint.

The Burial

Love is more than just actions, it is a spirit God gave and God created. So important is love, Jesus said to love God with all your soul and mind. Love your neighbor as you do yourself. Love seems to be killed slowly with every pop reality show quasi celebrity, every viral video of some repulsive act, every woman who chooses money over love and every man that chooses his penis over commitment. We don't know what true love is any more. It is weighed down with all of our hurts and pain. In order to let love fly we must forgive. Forgiveness is the key, but who does that anymore?

There is simply no hope, no way for love to matter in a world of lust and power. Relationships have even become a breeding ground for power play. Maybe we need to go back to defined roles since these ambiguous roles certainly don't seem to work. The family as a structure has all but been obliterated. You can say that traditional roles aren't important, but the correlation between the disappearance of marriage family and the disappearance of traditional roles is eerie. Save love, save marriage, save families...but I forget, this is the funeral of love isn't it?

The Resurrection

...but on the third day! There is a hope, a word, a reckoning. Love may have died, but it is resurrected in each of us that perpetuate it in our lives. I for one believe in love and believe it cannot, will not, shall not, ever die. I choose to believe. I believe that there is a place of such power and such peace when we go beyond ourselves and what our desires are. Love is selfless. How can two people who are being selfless not a find a way to make it work? Selfishness is the antagonist of love. Love gives freely it holds nothing back. Sure there is this self preservation that leads our defensiveness, but love makes us turn away from this destruction and leap forward into beautiful.

Are you ready to love? I mean really ready? Have you done the work, made the sacrifices, healed the wounds? Love can only exist in the right soil. Have you pulled all of the weeds, hatred, anger, frustration, selfishness, arrogance? Love cannot exist in the same space as that poison. We all claim to want love, to need love, but until we birth love through patience, tolerance, giving, and kindness first to those we claim to love and then to others, love will remain dead. Dead in us all, but alive in eternity.

So I vow, to change, to grow, to stretch beyond myself and love. To champion love with my sword honor, my shield of commitment, my breastplate of integrity. To embrace my woman with the entirety of my being and if single, stay ready vigilant and posed to love until she arrives.

And with that proclamation, I extend my hand and command love to rise...