The Church Girl

Somebody please tell me what has happened to the good ‘ole church girl? Remember when it used to be the men who were heathens and the women were trying to convert us? Why is it that most women in today’s society are equally secular, promiscuous, and in need of rebirthing? I used to get excited when I would meet a woman who said they went to church. That is, until I'd find out that they curse like sailors, drink like fish and their sexual partner list is one short of a bakers dozen (this year!).
I'm not judging, just calling it like I've seen it.

They even have churches set up to make us feel this faux spiritual connection by attending a Sunday morning service just a few hours after the club is over. Its always been this way, but now its done with no shame. They used to walk in feeling like there were bells swinging between their legs signaling their sin :)

How can you have a church preaching a bible that they don't believe in? Why go to church at all?

Does anyone else notice that the line between the church and the world is nonexistent? Yes of course there have been times when it was very blurry, but now it doesn't exist at all. Everything in the club, is in the church.

What happened to the women that really had a relationship with God? I don't mean I bless my food, say my prayers kind of relationship…I mean that I want to live right and actually do what the Bible says kind of relationship. There was a time when if a woman said she was celibate it was for spiritual reasons. Now it only seems like a way to control men or take and not give. Where are those holy rollers in their late 20's mid 30's?

When I grew up there was always a few girls in church that you knew were putting out, but a lot of them were holding on, waiting for a good husband, and saving themselves. Is it our fault? The husbands never came and so the ideology changed? Too many single women with no one to come home to? Instead of waiting for the preacher, the deacon, the good church man, they settled for the thug, the "do right sometimes" man and the male whores?

Have we as men skipped over the women that were beautiful on the inside to settle for the polished brass that is empty and eroded beneath? Maybe it is our fault. Again, I'm not judging. To each his (or her) own. I just know quite a few good men looking for something more than the luke-warm church dwellers.

And what's up with these spiritualists? "I'm spiritual, but not religious". How does that work exactly? Are we making up our own religions now? Whatever fits our ideals is what it is? Where is the line? I used to think it meant that they just didn't like the traditionalism and fake aspects of church, but recently found out that this could mean they don't believe in God at all. Why go to a church whose sole doctrines are based on a book that you don't believe in?

Maybe you believe in some things and not others. How do you know which to choose? Could this be why the families are all but destroyed? Maybe this is why marriage is outdated or archaic. This society, our world, was built around the family structure. What will we do when it doesn't exist any more? Maybe that is why you rarely hear that someone is saving themselves for marriage?

I believe the church girl is the cornerstone, the necessary building block to rebuild families. Where y'all at? There are good men that need you!

The Death, Burial and Ressurection of Love

Love is dead, it was said among men, but then, in a moment, it opened its eyes to see again...

Is Love Dead?

I once posed this question to a friend of mine and her answer was perplexing. Essentially, she said it came down to the individual and whether love was still important to them. When I look at society and what its become, it saddens me. Love used to be the ultimate treasure, the thing little girls pined for and the bounty of every knight's honor. Samson cut his hair for love, Van Gogh cut off his ear, Romeo defied his family, Penelope refused 108 suitors waiting 20 years for her love Odysseus to return from war. Love now seems to simply be the consequence of time spent and the culmination of a complicated business deal between two people. Certainly love is more than just the nuance of emotion smothered with lust and brain secretions...or is it?

I believe love has to be sought after, received, nurtured and bloomed in order to be complete. Who in this microwave age is willing to take that kind of time? Who is willing to strip down every layer until they are naked? I'm not sure. It could be said that love in its most traditional sense is but a faint echo in a loud world. Chivalry is a distant, all but offensive, notion that is so rare it stands out as a blood red rose in a field of dead wheat. A woman cooking, cleaning, sexing her man to death and taking care of a home is equally offensive in all but the most perfect circumstances. And a man in his role is equally rare. If a man doesn't work, he shouldn't eat. That's word.

I remember when older women used to teach younger women how to take care and keep a man. Those days are long gone. Now days, a relationship is so ambiguous when it comes to the roles, I fear for our future. Man and woman were meant to love, marry, and create. A man is supposed to work, protect, and provide for his family. A woman is supposed to take care of her house, take care of her children, and take care of her man. Did I just oversimplify this? Yes. In today's society it is almost always necessary for both parents to work which leaves little time for the wife/mother to solely fulfill a traditional role. In this sense, love shown through these actions is most certainly dead in most cases. And if the action of love is dead, wouldn't that mean love is dead also? Sure, love can be shown in a host of ways, but I contend there is nothing more personal and powerful then taking care of the one you love. I am speaking of romantic love, but maybe love doesn't need that constraint.

The Burial

Love is more than just actions, it is a spirit God gave and God created. So important is love, Jesus said to love God with all your soul and mind. Love your neighbor as you do yourself. Love seems to be killed slowly with every pop reality show quasi celebrity, every viral video of some repulsive act, every woman who chooses money over love and every man that chooses his penis over commitment. We don't know what true love is any more. It is weighed down with all of our hurts and pain. In order to let love fly we must forgive. Forgiveness is the key, but who does that anymore?

There is simply no hope, no way for love to matter in a world of lust and power. Relationships have even become a breeding ground for power play. Maybe we need to go back to defined roles since these ambiguous roles certainly don't seem to work. The family as a structure has all but been obliterated. You can say that traditional roles aren't important, but the correlation between the disappearance of marriage family and the disappearance of traditional roles is eerie. Save love, save marriage, save families...but I forget, this is the funeral of love isn't it?

The Resurrection

...but on the third day! There is a hope, a word, a reckoning. Love may have died, but it is resurrected in each of us that perpetuate it in our lives. I for one believe in love and believe it cannot, will not, shall not, ever die. I choose to believe. I believe that there is a place of such power and such peace when we go beyond ourselves and what our desires are. Love is selfless. How can two people who are being selfless not a find a way to make it work? Selfishness is the antagonist of love. Love gives freely it holds nothing back. Sure there is this self preservation that leads our defensiveness, but love makes us turn away from this destruction and leap forward into beautiful.

Are you ready to love? I mean really ready? Have you done the work, made the sacrifices, healed the wounds? Love can only exist in the right soil. Have you pulled all of the weeds, hatred, anger, frustration, selfishness, arrogance? Love cannot exist in the same space as that poison. We all claim to want love, to need love, but until we birth love through patience, tolerance, giving, and kindness first to those we claim to love and then to others, love will remain dead. Dead in us all, but alive in eternity.

So I vow, to change, to grow, to stretch beyond myself and love. To champion love with my sword honor, my shield of commitment, my breastplate of integrity. To embrace my woman with the entirety of my being and if single, stay ready vigilant and posed to love until she arrives.

And with that proclamation, I extend my hand and command love to rise...