The Absolute Power of Sex

What do men want? Sex!

Plain and simple...any fully functioning, ripe aged man wants sex. This statement is beyond reproach, is absolute and needs only few qualifications. As a woman if you refuse to accept this fact, you will forever make horrible decisions regarding men. Men as old as 80 years old producing children is not uncommon. Men were created with an amazing need for sexual interaction. Its built into there physical and psychological make up. Even great men in the bible fell behind their need for sex. Great men, even in our contemporary world, fell, because of sex. You could just say they were dogs or no good, but to reach the level they have in society and history, they had to be extraordinarily disciplined. It doesn't make it right, it just makes it true.

Men will say anything to get sex, I mean ANYTHING. They'll tell you they love you, you're beautiful, no, you don't look fat in that dress, they're going to marry you, they've been celibate for a year waiting on you etc...Anything. I am sure its difficult as a woman to decipher a lie from the truth so here is a little help.

Believe what he tells you with his actions - if his actions say he's a dog, he's a dog! If he barks and chases fire trucks its time to go.

Make him tell you what he wants up front -Don't wait! By the second or third date his intentions should be ringing in your ears. Always find a way to ask him the same question at least three different ways. People rarely remember all the lies they told.

Don't give it up... at least for a little while - If you're going to do it, make him wait! Its much too precious a gift to give to the unworthy. And remember, every time you do, there is less of you to give the next time.


What about love? Love is great, but for most men its only a secondary concern. For women, its primary. So how can these two contrasting segments ever come together?

It happens less often than you think. For example:

A man meets a woman - she looks good and he thinks about how much he wants to sleep with her, but if he's smooth he doesn't mention sex, not yet. He knows he has to earn her trust. They go out on a few dates, she likes him, but thinks that if she sleeps with him, she will ruin a chance to make it last or that it will cheapen her. He makes his move, she says she wants to wait, he wants the sex, so he waits. Now in the meantime he is dating at least two other women that are not making him wait, so waiting is no problem. While she is making him wait, she is starting to really, really like him...he has one thing on his mind, when is his money and his time going to pay off. He will only wait a finite amount of time and she feels his pending frustration and eventually lets him in, he sleeps with her a few times and finds some reason to act a fool and leave or even smoother, causes her to break up with him.

Sound familiar? It happens all the time and the woman is left scratching her head wondering what just happened. She was looking for love, he was looking for sex. Basically, you just slept with the enemy!

Its not that women don't want or like sex, its just not their primary need. Its why women can survive years on masturbation - side note - if you masturbate ladies, you are NOT celibate :) Celibacy: abstaining from sexual relations - abstinence - act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite - thus, engaging in sexual interactions (appetite) even in the singular form is not abstinence. better yet, the good man that is waiting patiently is fighting a losing battle because your cheatin' with your battery operated boy toy! Its not right! I digress...


Why women make bad sexual decisions

Men are very simple in nature...food, sex and sports...when you find a good one you can throw in romance, culture, spirituality and the need to conquer or achieve.

A lot of woman have figured out that men want sex, but their decision making is poor. They'll give it to the wrong one for the right/wrong reason and keep it from the right one, for the wrong reason. This is mostly because inherit emotional decision making. Who you love is a choice, it always is. The moment you know the man is no good for you, RUN, don't walk away as fast as you can. It will prevent you from the emotional bond that makes the decision making even worse.

Most women make redundantly bad decisions or often called residual behavior, in other words, choosing the same fool in a different body.They think if they do something different like withhold sex, the outcome will be different, when in reality, they have to simply choose differently.

Some women have even figured out if you sexually please a man he will stick around for quite a while, it doesn't, however, mean he loves you. So while you are "dropping it like its hot" he has three other women doing the same thing, but you may be the only one cleaning, cooking and ironing his clothes.

While writing a new script I discovered this anomaly in the fabric of the dating world. Most men have at least three women: The one he's with, the one he wants and the one that wants him! I am pages deep on this thing, its amazing. Stay tuned!

These are of course sweeping generalizations, but are also the most common scenarios.

Just today I counseled someone who is having a difficult time breaking out of a bad relationship. Her salvation was in the simple reality of changing her phone number and email and allowing this person no access. Its the only way to stop the seesaw. Then she had to recognize her own worth.

When a good man comes along, you don't want to be tied up in a bad one. Never let your past ruin your future...
And when he does come along, pour yourself into him, never make him pay the cost for some idiot in your past. You're too beautiful, too smart and too valuable. And a good man is only going to waste so much time.

The Passion, Creativity and Love expressed through love making is beyond comparison. Is there any more readily available euphoric place?

When a woman has sex something happens:
A physiological connection...
Oxcytocin is a hormone released in women during certain physical interactions namely child birth, breastfeeding, it helps to solidify bond between mom and baby, but it does the same exact thing with a woman's sexual partner. Its released during breast stimulation and climax. Incredibly, it is also responsible for shutting down the brains compulsion toward fear and resistance to facilitate orgasm! Sounds like the wrong thing to do with the wrong person, doesn't it?

When a man enters your body, he has one purpose, to plant seed. It is what the act was meant for. Everything in his body prepares for it. Your body responds with lubrication and lets just say a welcome feeling. And when you're with someone who understands your body and how to please you, its an amazing experience. Beware! As a woman you are left with more than just the feeling.

Soul Ties...
Soul ties are the results of an intimate connection with someone else. The most intimate of these connections are sexual relationships. When a woman opens her body to someone, she is allowing them into her most sacred place, a place with total access to her heart and soul. That's why an abused woman stays and longs for a man that treats her like dirt. The small percentage of the time that he is nice to her doesn't even compare to the mental and physical brutality. If a man hits you, he doesn't love you - period. If a man cheats on you, he doesn't love you - period. If a man lies to you...get the picture?

Even when the person is gone out of your life, the longing for them remains. And the woman thinks what they are feeling is love, but its just the residue of this unhealthy tie. Now her soul and heart are fragmented, which leaves her damaged. Not only damaged, unable to even see a good man when he comes along. 1 Corinthians 6:16, "What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh - be careful who you lay with.

This is why sex was intended for marriage. Now, we know in this day and time, that premarital sex is a reality (right or wrong), so please...be careful who you lay with.

How to break a soul tie?
The first thing to do is NEVER EVER have connection with the person from the unhealthy relationship. Throw out all gifts and memories. Shut them down completely.

Recognize true love when it arrives. Love has its own healing balm, allow it to do work and mend the broken pieces.

Make better decisions.


Men Need Love...
The upper echelon of men have over come this insatiable need for sex and they seek real true love. If you are blessed enough to find one, give him everything you've got, because that's what its going to take to keep him. Make no mistake, this man wants sex too, its just not all that he wants. Love and relationship becomes more important to him because of maturity and character. Always judge this man by his merits and not the mistakes of your past. Because for this man, the ordinary just won't do. As a man, I suppose its just as difficult to find a quality man as it is to find a quality woman. Be encouraged, we (quality men) are looking for you (quality women). Please don't settle, because we will never find each other!



Now that you know the truth, choose wisely...

Next week - Man talk!