The Audacious Hope of Love

The Feeling of Love

Yes, I am a believer. When two people meet in a sea of billions and find that awe inspiring moment that says, I want you, it's beautiful. Is it a heart connection or is it synaptic connections in our brain telling us what to feel? Is it God zapping us with cupid's arrow or the desperate surrendering after many years of searching?

The feeling of love is absolutely perfect. It is unmeasurable, indefinable and is uncontainable. When you say I love you this much (imagine my arms stretched wide), be assured that this is not love, but a feeling. Some would say its infatuation. If love is the overwhelming glory, then infatuation is the first moment of realization before the clouds part. It is just that piercing in your gut when you hear that person's voice, feel their skin, sense their presence. George Duke has a song called, is love enough? Is it enough to keep him from cheating, keep her from acting up and so on...yes true love is, but what he is really saying is...will the feeling of love do this. Butterflies...this is the feeling we call love, but it is not love. Love is long-suffering, the feeling of love fades fast after he starts acting a fool! Love makes them a priority, the feeling of love is selfish only meeting its own needs. Love is perfect and without condition. If her gaining some weight shifts your "love" it is not love. If him losing his job shifts your "love", it is not love.

How to Find Love

No matter how many love songs you listen to, you can never force yourself to fall in love. You can certainly nurture the feeling of love, but love, listen closely...love is a state being, not a feeling. It seems easier to find heartbreak, than it is to find love. Did you know that there is a 3-1 advantage for songs about breaking up opposed to songs about falling in love (excluding the sex songs of course, which is another dialog all together)? Think about the most famous ones...Luther Vandross' Superstar (originally by the Carpenters), All by Myself, I Fall to Pieces – Patsy Cline, Pretty Brown Eyes Mint Condition, Where do broken hearts go - Whitney Houston, Total Eclipse of the Heart Bonnie Tyler, Since U Been Gone Kelly Clarkson, Gloria Gayner - I will survive, On my own - Patti Labelle and Michael Mcdonald etc. The list is endless and sure there are also love songs out there, but isn't it interesting how many songs that seem to scream the sentiment, "I thought I was in love, but I was wrong". I venture to say its because we only look at the feeling of love and are really rarely ready for such an enormous on taking! In this instant microcosm of Los Angeles, its hard enough to get beyond the pretentious, fallacious, sabotaging bling bling, she so fine, he so fine, look at his whip(do they still use that word?), check that donkey... brain-washing we've all endured. So how do you find love? 1. Be ready. 2. Have a heart that is full of love, a heart that is healed from the war dredged scars. 3. Have a mind mature and ready for the doubt, hope, strain, change, and awkwardness that a relationship brings. 4. Be prepared to be completely naked, because this is what love requires. 5. Be dimensions beyond the need for games or manipulation. Love does not, will not, CAN NOT lie or manipulate. Can somebody shout on that one? I had to learn this the hard way. 6. Recognize love when you see it and whatever you do, don't let it pass you by! 7. Un-forgiveness, hatred and despair can never co-exist with love, so rid yourself of this things. A quality man or woman will see it and run for the hills. Those days of men playing superman are long gone. Of course, his love will effectually clean some sullied places, but that is not it's purpose. How can someone whole join with someone half? 8. Be patient! It is all too obvious which of us have settled, because we grew weary of waiting. Its always worth the wait. 9. Don't limit yourself! Dare I say, they just may not reside in your home city, maybe its time for a scene change. Change is good, it forces us to grow. 10. Know who you are! If you are still figuring this out, you're not ready for a relationship. If you don't know you, how will you know who is right for you? Life is short, but love is eternal. Attraction? Sure attraction has it's place, just remember, if you are not all that attracted to someone and you know this drives your emotion, run and leave that good woman or good man for someone else! That's it, let it flow, love needs no help, it has wings of it's own.

I wish you all the beauty of love !

Next Week - Why Sex isn't as important as Love, but is a close second!